My Horoscope

I'm not really into horoscopes, unless you count a period of kleptomania between the ages of 15 and 17 during which my friends and I lifted tiny scrolls of love-life information from the candy aisle of 7-11. Orange for Leo. Not to justify this behavior, and of course I have guilt about it, but what else was a good Mormon girl supposed to do for a thrill, what with no drinking and no smoking and no premarital sex? And stealing may have been wrong in Mormondom, but in the great hierarchy of sins, it was minor enough to allow admittance into the Celestial kingdom of heaven (note to those who don't know about Mormon kingdoms: "The Celestial is for perfect Mormons, the Terrestrial is for moral people and lukewarm LDS, and the Telestial Kingdom is for everyone else."). At least that's what I thought. So I stole. Greedily unrolled MY horoscope and read. This tiny piece of paper told me many important things--like which days were good for romance, which days I would achieve financial success. Things I needed to know. Things that may have altered the course of the universe, like having the nerve to walk up to cute boy and talk to him because September 8th predicted love and such.

It is with slightly guilty pleasure then, that I post my horoscope for the week. I feel as greedy about reading it and reveling in it now as I did when I was 15. And how much do I want to believe the part about the "past no longer holding me back"? How much do I want to believe the part about "partial breakthroughs"? How much do I want to turn "almost" into "completely"? "VICTORY"

I'm posting my horoscope here because just like I did when I was 15, I SO hope it's true.


Leo Horoscope for week of April 28, 2005

You've been given a prophetic glimpse of the great victory that's possible. You're very close to neutralizing an old bugaboo and making sure that the past will no longer hold you back. Now comes the hardest part: Will you be able to sustain your concentration until the triumphs are actually accomplished? Or will you be lulled into lazy complacency by the sense of security that your partial breakthroughs have provided? Personally, I believe you will summon the dogged ingenuity necessary to finish the job; you will turn almost into completely.

Mildly interested in what Rob Brezsny has to say about you? Click on the title of this post. I think you'll know what to do.