class...

Tried very hard last night to write about class. Nothing doing. I don't recall ever having such a strong reaction before and I know it is tied up in so many ways it would be foolish for me to try to untangle it. Foolish to try to make it universal. There are people who have power and they decide how things work and they have hurt people I love dearly. I can't forget that. There are people who talk down to me when I am serving them and compliment me when I am in the garden. I can't accept that. There are people for whom nothing is impossible. I am not one of them.

I cried at Daniel-- it was some sort of breaking point. At one point going out seemed to fix the problems but it turns out that they are bigger than that, much bigger, and until they change Monday is just a quick fix.

I finished The Farewell Party a couple nights ago. It was drastically different from the last time I read it. Things have changed. I have changed. I could tear myself up with want but it would do me no good. Instead I will just try to deal with my life as it is.

I've got to catch up with Jane on 100 Years. I wonder how different that will be this time around.